My (Least) Favorite Wal-martian

I don't know about you, but sometimes I dread going to Wal-mart. Yeah, I know: I don't HAVE to shop there... but sometimes I do. There; I admitted it. Happy now?

Anyway, one of things I do like about Wal-mart is they honor their competitors' advertised prices. Or at least they're supposed to.

In mid-June, we ventured into Wal-mart to buy two-liter bottles of Pepsi and have them price-match with a Safeway ad. The cashier was willing to do it, but wanted to make sure she keyed it in correctly because her till was set to be audited that night. Fair enough.

A supervisor of some sort came by and told her to enter a "1" for a competitors' price match... then snatched the Safeway ad and said, "Wait a minute." She trotted off with the ad, and a few minutes later returned to sniff that they don't honor competitors' price if they require a club card. I told her I had talked with a manager named Crystal about it earlier, and we had agreed that because the card is free for the asking, Wal-mart would match the price.

"She doesn't work here anymore so I can't verify that," she snapped, "but I just checked with an SCI (or something like that) and confirmed we do NOT honor these prices."

She oh-so-helpfully added that if I took the Safeway ad to Safeway, they would honor the price. Gee; ya think?

I argued it a little longer but she wouldn't budge, just kept saying, "We don't do that, we've NEVER done that"... so some poor sap had to return a cart full of two-liters to the shelf.

The next day, I checked Wal-mart's site and, lo and behold:

"We do honor 'Preferred Shopping Card' advertised prices. Must be like items, be advertised and require a competitor's shopping card, for the discount to apply." (Check walmartstores.com if you don't believe me.)

Now I was mad.

A few days later &mdash but when the Safeway ad was still valid &mdash I drove back to Wal-mart, Safeway ad and walmartstores.com policy in hand: partly to stock up on soda, partly to tell them they're wrong and don't know their own corporate policy. Should be fun, right?

I marched to the Customer Service desk. Two women straightened and moved closer together, then listened to what I just relayed. They apologized (and relaxed a little), and said Wal-mart DOES price match competitors' club card price. Then one asked:

"Do you remember her name?"

"Sorry," I said, "but she held a binder or a clipboard over her name badge so I didn't catch it."

As I said "name badge," the two exchanged a look.

"Do you remember what she looked like?" the other asked.

"She was maybe a little taller than I am, and she had long, straight brown hair."

"Tabitha," one said.

"Mmm-hmm," the other nodded.

"Straight hair?" one woman asked, just to make sure.

Yes, I said, but not wanting to get the wrong person in trouble, I added she was a thinner woman. (Well, thinner for a Wal-martian.)

"Tabitha," they said together.

Oh, Tabitha, Tabitha, Tabitha; I see a talking-to in your future. Based on the two women's reactions, I don't think it's the first time someone has complained about Tabitha so I didn't feel too bad.

And I especially don't today. My soda supply was down and Safeway had it on sale again, so once again I headed into the Land of the Wally Mammoths, Safeway ad and walmartstores.com policy in my pocket. Just in case. At the checkout, the cashier was again willing to make the price-match but wanted to make sure he entered it correctly.

Now who do you suppose toddled over?

Tabetha (it seems I'd been misspelling her name) was shaking her head as she approached. She didn't blink before spitting, "We don't do that," and turned to leave.

"Yes you do," I said in an equally snide tone, and slapped the policy statement down. Cary and the cashier backed up a step as Tabetha slowly turned back, presumably to see Who Dared Question the All-Knowing Tabetha.

She read the policy, and then read it again. Or she read incredibly slowly, I can't say which. What I DO know is she still tried to refuse the price-match, saying again &mdash though with less conviction &mdash that she was told they don't do that.

"You're supposed to," I said, and tapped the paper. The cashier bit back a giggle.

"It's not clear..." Tabetha protested.

Not clear? I thought. How much clearer could it be? "We DO HONOR 'Preferred Shopping Card' advertised prices." Seems pretty black-and-white to me.

"I guess just do it," she told the cashier and walked away in a confused haze. Smiling, the cashier finished wringing our order.

"Sorry about that," he said.

"Not your fault," I said. "For some reason, Tabetha just likes to argue that policy."

"Yeah, she's sort of a &mdash"

He stopped as Tabetha approached with another supervisor-type. They asked to see the policy again and slowly read it over. Supervisory-type Number 2 began the "We don't do that" speech.

I stopped her. I said I'd talked with two women in Customer Service; they said you price match. I'd talked with an assistant manager; she said you price match. Your own corporate site posts the policy, which is RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU, and it states you price match.

"It... It says it needs a shopping card for it to apply," Tabetha tried.

"Club Price," I said, as I poked the Safeway ad. "That means you need to have a Safeway Club Card. Which I do."

"So do I," Tabetha said.

"Well there you go."

They stood there, mouths open, unsure what to say. Tabetha mumbled something about checking walmartstores.com later, so I handed her the piece of paper and told her to keep it. For some reason that flustered her even more.

As we were leaving the store, I checked my receipt to make sure everything rang up correctly, and found a survey request.

"WE VALUE YOUR OPINION!" it yelled. "WE WANT TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR SHOPPING EXPERIENCE TODAY AT WAL-MART."

Really.

You know what, Wally; I may just take you up on that.

Lessons from Jury Duty

Free at last! Free at last! Thank Polk County, I am free at last!

No, I wasn't just released from jail, but close: I just completed my nine weeks of grand jury duty. The judge had warned us we'd have a very different view of our community after serving, but I have to say mine hasn't really changed &mdash although I did learn how closely our local casino monitors every square inch of itself and how to stay just this side of the law.

I did not, however, answer the age-old chicken-and-egg question of whether drugs make one stupid or one has to be stupid to do drugs... but I definitely think there's some correlation. At least three-quarters of those indicted on drug charges might have gone free if they hadn't told the cops where to find their drugs/pipes/syringes and hadn't said, "Yeah, that's mine."

Something else my jury duty reinforced, is there are good cops and there are not-so-good cops. I'm not talking Vic Mackey bad, but we had a few who testified while chopping on gum and oozing a why-are-you-wasting-my-time attitude. Luckily the good outnumbered the bad &mdash at least during my service.

One of our favorite returning visitors was a detective who arranged and busted drug buys. He said he dreams of going undercover someday, but he's far too cute and tat-free (not to mention too intelligent) to come across as a typical drug user.

"So," I asked him, "if I see you in a parking lot talking to some shady character, should I yell, 'Hey, Detective; how's it going?'"

"Uh, I'd rather you didn't," he said.

"Okay. How about if I run over, yell, 'You son of a bitch, you got my little brother hooked on that junk!' and then sock you in the face?"

He just blinked a couple of times, as if trying to decide whether I was serious. (I think some of my fellow jurors wondered that, too.)

"C'mon," I coaxed. "It would help sell your story, give you some street cred."

"I'd, uh, I'd rather you just act like you don't know me."

Funny; I hear that a lot.

Do It for Doogie

Okay. So I know I've mentioned www.realchocolate.com before. Repeatedly.

Today I mention it again simply so I can share this ad featuring Doogie/Barney/Dr. Horrible:



So c'mon, America! Snag a coupon for a bar or bag of empty calories and learn to smile again. Because, as Totally Awesome American Neil Patrick Harris so eloquent puts it, "helping each other, that's what America loves most. That, and free stuff."

Free Glidden Paint

Before I start to be known &mdash okay, CONTINUE to be known &mdash as a Junk Food Queen, I thought I'd share a great DIY freebie. Just visit:

www.glidden.com/promotions/free-paint-giveaway.do

... or call 1-800-GLIDDEN to request a free quart of paint in Eggshell finish. Really. A completely free, fresh quart of paint. That should cover about 100 square feet, enough to repaint an occasional table, a small dresser, maybe even an accent wall. Or the door and trim your puppy shredded.

The offer is good through July 2, 2009, or while supplies last, with a limit of one quart per household in the Continental US only. (Sorry, Hawaiians, but you already have enough good fortune.)

Free Sugar Fixes

Who wants free junk food?

"I do! I do!"

Yes, it's that magic hour in late afternoon when a young girl's fancy turns strongly to thoughts of sugar and caffeine. Unfortunately these offers don't start until tomorrow, Friday, June 19th, but fortunately I have not one but three offers to share:

First, don't forget the M&M/Mars giveaway is still going strong every Friday morning through the end of September. Just visit:

www.realchocolate.com

... each Friday after 9:00 a.m. Eastern Time to request your coupon for a free, full-size candy bar such as Snickers, Milky Way, Twix, 3 Musketeers, Dove, and of course, M&M's. There's a limit of one coupon request per e-mail address per Friday, but — and here's the best part — you may return on a following Friday and request another coupon, up to four per household! I've already received a couple, so I can confirm the coupons will arrive... assuming your postmaster doesn't nick them.

Also on Friday between 2:00 p.m. and 8:00 p.m., A&W is continuing to celebrate its 90th Anniversary by offering free small root beer floats. Not surprisingly, the offer is one per customer, but no purchase is required so get on in there!

www.awrestaurants.com

Still thirsty? Have a mall nearby? Then you may be happy to know Orange Julius is offering a free Light Smoothie on June 19th. It looks as if the offer is valid all day, but you'll need to print and present the downloaded coupon.

www.orangejulius.com

Enjoy your sugar rush &mdash and your weekend!

Free Family Film Festival

It's baaaaack!

Once again, Regal is hosting its Free Family Film Festival. Starting this week (depending on your location) and running through the end of August, select Regal cinemas will screen two G or PG movies at 10:00 a.m. each Tuesday and Wednesday during the festival.

Seating is first-come, first-served &mdash or first-seated? &mdash and is limited to theatre capacity. Tickets are available at the select theatres' box offices on the day of the show.

For a list of dates and movie titles, visit:

www.regmovies.com/nowshowing/familyfilmfestivalschedule.aspx

I don't see a requirement that states I HAVE to be accompanied by a child and two local theaters are participating, so... Blane and Abby, maybe I'll see you there!

Playing Dirty

I suppose it was inevitable that our relaxing (read: lazy) weekends would give way to days of toil, so it didn't come as much of a surprise when Cary ordered 30 yards of topsoil/compost mix last week. Yeah. Three-oh. As in a heaped dump truck AND its trailer. The dirt was delivered Friday around noon, and bright and early Saturday Cary was off to rent a Bobcat.

Let the summer projects begin.

As the tracks in the "before" photos show, I was a little late taking them, but you get the idea: grass and more grass.

We added dirt to extend four existing flowerbeds — one by quite a bit; I think it's now five or six times its original size — and created a new island. (Actually two new islands, but one is out front and doesn't look like much just yet.)

While Cary moved the dirt, I dug out and moved the thin-split rock we had been using to outline the beds. (I'll reuse it to create raised beds in the rose garden... but probably not this year. I like to pace my punishment.)

On Sunday, we set out the plants we've been buying since last Fall... and then started digging. At last count we'd planted 48 shrubs, perennials, and tubers including a crape myrtle, a rhododendron, a Daphne, peonies, roses, lilacs, verbena, lavender, potentillas, and who-knows-what-else.

It looks a little puny right now, but in a couple of years — with mulch and a few more plants added here and there — it should be right lush. Assuming the plants survive the Thunder Feet of Sherman, that is.

We've already bought another dump truck load of gravel for the paths, so stay tuned...